Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed,

for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you

with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

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As you go through this...

Difficult things can cause us to ask, "Why did this happen?"

But if we're trusting in Christ we never need to ask,

"How could He let this happen?"

God may never reveal all His reason to us,

but He has revealed His character to us.

His character assures us that 

He never makes mistakes, is never uncaring,

and that He never separates Himself from our need.

The need you face is great, but the grace

that is yours in Christ is even greater. 

May your heart and your faith stay fixed upon Him

as you go through this difficulty.

Be assured that He is holding your hand 

and will not let you go!

(It's amazing how much comfort a greeting card can give)

22 going on 7

Today I am thankful for school nurses.


While I was at work today, I experienced two lows. The first showed a lovely 54 on my meter, when I had been 187 an hour before. As soon as I checked it, I gave myself some juice and felt better within 10 minutes. The second time was completely different.


I was outside swinging with one of my students and got really nauseated. I immediately thought I had overtreated a low and shot up really high.

And then the Texas heat (HA!) got to me.  It's only MARCH. I started to get really hot. I mean REALLY REALLY hot. So I went inside to get some water. I checked my blood and I was at a cool 129. Ok, I thought. What in the world is going on??


So I go back outside. And feel just as bad. And finally it's time to go back to class when another teacher tells me I should chill out in another room until I feel better. I checked my blood again and was 102. Keep in mind that maybe 5 minutes had passed since my last check. I felt way way way to bad to be at 102. Normally I would celebrate by shouting on the roof top "I'M AT A PERFECT 102!!!!" But in this case, this 102 felt worse than my 54. And I knew I was dropping fast fast fast. 


So the same teacher, who is SO sweet I might add, decided to call the school nurse because I wasn't my bubbly self. Before the nurse got there I tried taking disgusting glucose tablets and had dropped even more. By this point, I was completely embarrassed. When I get embarrassed combined with worry, tears start. Which makes the embarrassment even worse!


But as soon as the nurse got there, I felt like I was 7 years old. I felt helpless and completely leaned on her guidance. I graciously took her peanut butter crackers and munched until I was content. I remember thinking about how the other type 1 diabetics at our school see her everyday. How these sweet little kiddos felt the exact same way I was feeling. Miserable, embarrassed, shaky, hot and a million other feelings.


Although this disease is terrible, I can honestly say I have thought multiple times about how I wish I was diagnosed at a younger age. Other diabetics I have met have usually been living with this since they were a kid. They have experiences that I just do not relate too. For example: having the school nurse nurse you back to a normal blood sugar.


And now I can say I have. Diabetes has made my 22 year old self feel 7. I feel like I have joined the Type 1 diabetes club. This secret kid to nurse talk. I am so grateful to work at a place where someone could help me in a matter of seconds. I can't think of anything more comforting!

To My Pharmacist

To my pharmacist,


I have never been so happy to see you. I am constantly surprised with how friendly and bubbly you always are. You don't know me by name yet, but know I am the girl who was just diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. At my last visit, you took a sincere interest in me and what I have to go through on a day-to-day basis. And you know what? You're right. Having T1 Diabetes is EXACTLY like a part time job. However, you make my days a lot easier. You supply me with insulin and without it I would die. All the while, acknowledging how difficult this must be.  I don't know why, but your interest in what I deal with made my day. Thank you for taking an interest in me & letting me know I can do this. You're awesome and I am so grateful for you.


Love,


The girl with a broken pancreas

Firsts

Spring Break 2012 gave me the break I really needed. We spent the first two days in New Orleans & the rest of the time in Florida. I experienced a lot of "firsts" I never thought I would.


-Overly packing (nothing new) but this time with diabetes supplies
-Deciding the best way to keep my extra insulin cool
-Giving myself insulin shots in a moving car
-Walking Bourbon Street
-Trying hand grenades
-Hurricanes from Pat O'Briens
-Throwing beads from the balcony (or really.. pelting people)
-Jackson Square
-Trying shrimp, salmon and Mahi Mahi
-EXPERIENCING HARRY POTTER WORLD
-Trying Butterbeer
-Having my worst low yet
-The Ron John Surf Shop experience
-Only have 2 high BG's all week
-Giving insulin right on the beach
-Cocoa Beach
- A low on the beach
-16 hour car ride
-realizing I froze my extra insulin on the very.last.day.


Spring Break was a real eye opener. I am realizing everyday that although diabetes is a serious pain, it is not going to s l o w me down.

Working with the 'Betes

It's no shocker how hard it is balancing life with diabetes, especially when its all so new. Right now, I would say the hardest part is still adjusting to the fact that anytime I want something to eat, I must inject myself with a needle full of insulin. I am getting very use to it now, but every so often it can really HURT.

Lately, the difficultly lies with WHERE I inject. I do not feel comfortable sticking myself in public, although it would make my life so much easier. Running to a dimly lit stinky bathroom is never fun. I did it in public for the first time last Saturday while we were at the Houston Outlets eating a late lunch. (wow that sentence could be taken the wrong way!) The bathrooms were so far away from the food that I just threw my caution to the wind. Screw it! If these people think I am injecting heroin, so be it.  I did it so fast, and am still amazed how its already becoming second nature to inject myself. I noticed a couple people staring, and then they got on with their life. Just like I did.

But what's even harder is when I am subbing at the elementary schools. I am not about to inject with 25 Kinder's or even 5th graders staring at me. Most of the schools in Bryan require you to eat with your students. I am really not use to this at all. Every day I work, it's a constant game of who I have to tell "I have t1 diabetes and need to give myself insulin before I eat, I will be right back." And by the time I have helped the students go through the line & then go to the restroom to do my thing, I usually have 15 minutes left to shovel food in my face. This, of course, would be a whole hell of a lot easier if I actually  had a permanent teaching job.... but that's a whole other can of worms.

An insulin pump would really help my situation. REALLY REALLY REALLY help. At my last doctor's appointment I talked to him about it. I was sooooooooo distraught when he told me it would be best to wait another 2 months. See, insulin is a massive game of chess.  Some days I win, and a lot of days I lose. We are still working on my levels of insulin to bring my numbers in a range where I can win a lot more often. He thinks 2 more months of trial & error, and we might be on the right winning streak.

TGIF & Thankful next week is spring break.. We will be off to New Orleans and Florida with some great friends!!