Love, Marriage and Insulin

Remember that time I thought I would document my first year with diabetes... by taking a picture every day?

Oh.

Oops.

Remember that time I told myself I would try and blog weekly?

oh...

Double oops.

This blog started as an outlet to scream out all my frustrations with my new diagnosis of type 1 diabetes.

And you know what?

It. just. got. normal.

As time went on, I quickly adjusted to my new normal. Sure, my normal is a lot different from yours, but it just happened. It's pretty amazing how your life can adjust to such a big change. I can honestly say that in the last year I have grown so much.

Can I prick my finger and test my blood sugar in the pitch black? yup.

Can I pick any menu item at Chick-fil-a and tell you how many carbs are in it? you're damn right.

Do I spend more money on medical supplies than new clothes? Unfortunately, yes.

Do I have a meltdown when I can't get my blood sugar to go down? many. multiple. times.

Do I have a happy dance anytime my blood sugar is under 110?? ABSOLUTELY.

Do I still feel like I don't know what the hell I'm doing half the time? Oh hell yes.

The bottom line is, I've learned. I've grown, and Type 1 Diabetes has not defined my life. It sucks 99.5% of the time, but I've learned how to make it suck less.

But now on to the fun stuff....

Benjamin and I had a very exciting last few months.

We spent my first "Dia-versary"driving to Ouray, Colorado for Christmas. It was the most beautiful Christmas I have ever had, and especially nice to get away from everything. (Except diabetes of course.)

And then, we spent our New Year's Eve getting married and such :)

Steve Lee Photography

And then....we spent our Honeymoon in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic.

And finally....we spent all of January spending our wedding money making our house a home.

My favorite purchase! 

I cannot tell you how much we love being married. It's been a long time coming.. (almost 8 years!) But we are so beyond excited! One thing is for sure, our future will be filled with love.... and insulin.

Robot Parts

It's official.

I've been approved for the medtronic minimed robotic portable pancreas.

Also know as..... an Insulin Pump!

Everything is better if you can wear pink, right?

I think it's more fun to tell people I'm part robot.

I can't wait until it get's here! :)

*Note: I googled these photos, so credit to google.

Exciting things are coming..

I RECEIVED A JOB OFFER!

I will be working for Reynolds & Reynolds as a Human Resource Coordinator and couldn't be more excited!! I've been having a love/hate relationship with education and was truly dreading starting the application process of teaching all over again. For whatever reason, I just didn't want to do it. This past year of subbing made me realllllllllllllly take a hard look at teaching. The more I thought about it (and the more time went on without interview) I decided I wanted to look for something different.

The good things about teaching is that I can always go back if it's something I want to do in the future. But as of right now, I am perfectly find not stepping into any classroom. This year has show a million difficulties and has made me step back and really questions what I want to do with my life. You know, when everything is falling apart.... and you have to ask, IS THIS WORTH IT?? I have always wanted to teach (or so I thought) and never really deviated from my 5 year old dream job. Even in college, after taking my favorite class --Linguistics-- I seriously thought about changing my major. It scared me to do something completely different then what I went in wanting to do. So i didn't. And now, I really wish I had. I was terrified of change and always had to have a plan. If I learned anything this year, It's to throw caution to the wind. I am not in charge of anything, and know matter how much I plan... It doesn't seem to work out.

So, a new career. Goodbye to 11 hours work days and helllllloooooooooo to benefits.

And I am still toying with the idea of getting my masters in speech pathology. I missed the deadlines this year to apply, but it's something I know I would really enjoy. chchchchchangesssss

P.S. As you know, Nala was given back to the pound. I was completely devastated and depressed. Because my fiance is awesome, we went and adopted a new puppy. Shes a chocolate lab/pitbull mix. He thought the only way to cheer me up would be to get something I could love more. We didn't know she was pitbull when we got her--but she's a big cuddlebug! I still miss that little Nala, but Lola is hard not to love.

My little Lola! Ridiculously hyper, but the smartest, cuddliest little monster you'll ever meet.

A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Today was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Seriously.

After finding out Nala was tested for STRONG positive heartworms, and then finding the estimate at close to a 1000, I had to make a decision. A hard decision. I decided that I was not financial able to support this dog as much as I wanted to be able too. I can give her all the love in my heart, but it wouldn't help relieve her pain. Diabetes is expensive enough, and as much as I wish I could, I really just couldn't.

I cannot believe I have been crying so hard over a dog I owned for 5 days. I loved her and really hope she gets the treatment she needs. I am angry at her previous owners for not putting her on proper medication. I'm angry at the shelter for not checking. I am angry at myself for not knowing what should be done before I adopt a dog.

"At least you learned what to do for next time!" cool. except I really didn't want a next time.

And of course through all of this anxiety and tears, my blood sugars have been sucky and stupid. I can't think right when I see numbers slowly decreasing on the screen. Lower and lower and lower. Until I'm so shaky I don't know what I am really upset about.

Today was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Seriously.

Nala: I rescued my human

There's a new addition that has been added to my life. Meet Nala!

She's the sweetest, most loveable dog I have ever met. With every step I take, she's right by my side. Most people don't really know why I wanted to get a dog (other than the fact that I LOVE them.) Dogs can help with diabetes. True story. In fact, when I was first diagnosed my doctor flat told me to get one since I live alone.

Before diagnoses Abbey, Ben's dog, use to lick me constantly. I mean, not normal dog licking, but serious licking. She was on a mission to lick my skin off. I couldn't get her off, and when and I if I finally did, she would come back for more. I always thought it was weird, but just thought she loved me.. (Ha!) My doctor actually told me it was a sign of a high blood sugar. She thought I tasted sweet. Irony.

Lately I've been having a lot more lows than I feel I should be having. Especially at night. Right before bed the past few nights I have had to eat a pack of skittles and juice to sky rocket my blood sugars. Ill wake up and be perfectly in range which makes me think my pancreas started working. Perhaps I'm in the honeymoon stage? who knows. More to come on that later. But because the thought of "I hope I wake up tomorrow" has crossed my mind before laying my head down to sleep, I decided I had to have something right by my side every night. Sure, Ben's nice to snuggle with too! But that boy wouldn't wake up if a freight train was next to his ear, let alone if I go into a coma because of a low.

So, here's where sweet Nala comes into play. I can actually get her trained to be a service dog, and I could take her anywhere I went. I can't decide If I want to or not. But not only has she already uplifted my spirit about a diabetic life (Heck--life in general), she's already helped me when a low set in before I realized it. I might have rescued her from the pound, but she most definitely rescued me emotionally AND diabetically.

And because this is just SO my life, I leave you with this:

Yes, my girl is wearing a pull up because no less than 3 hours after I got her, she started heat. 

She's a mess. just. like. me. 

A perfect pair.

Type 1 Now

I have been meaning to write this post for a week now. Last Saturday I spent the day in Austin at the JDRF Type 1 Now Conference. I had been looking forward to it since February. The day was spent learning about how to be a better diabetic. I sat in on many sessions that dealt with accurate carb counting, multiple daily injections (MDI), and girl issues that go right along with diabetes.

The highlights:
-Meeting Kerri Sparling of sixuntilme.com. When I was in the hospital and had no clue how my life was going to change, I googled "Type 1 Diabetes." Her blog was one of the first things that came up. I read for hours in my room and realized right then I was going to be okay. Sure, it was going to be hard. But if she can find the humor in this disease, I knew I could too.

-Getting a free one touch meter. The meter is great and all, but I really like the delica it came with. I can't even feel the prick!

-Learning about the different insulin pumps on the market. I was able to see the animas ping and the medtronic insulin pumps in action. I know its wrong to covet something, BUT I COVET ALL INSULIN PUMPS. I cannot wait to have one and learning about them just made it even more of a desire.

-Winning Cozmo, the diabetic monkey. His insulin pump is magnetic and will attach to all the places its ok to put your pump. How COOL.

-Learning how to get my insulin for free. Probably the most useful thing I learned! The website www.needymeds.com has a TON of medications for free, not just insulin. Most of them you have to apply for, but a lot of them also have savings cards. I would recommend taking a look. I am grateful for my insurance, but the savings card I found made the copay free!

-Meeting and connecting with other Type 1's! I even met a 4th grade teacher who told me how she explains it to her class. I've always wondered how I would do that, and she gave me GREAT advice.

I am so grateful I was able to go to this and learn so much. JDRF is doing AMAZING research for type 1 diabetes, and I cannot express my gratitude to the foundation. It was inspiring to hear and see diabetics who lived with this disease for over 50 years. Talk about motivation! You. Rock.

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed,

for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you

with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

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As you go through this...

Difficult things can cause us to ask, "Why did this happen?"

But if we're trusting in Christ we never need to ask,

"How could He let this happen?"

God may never reveal all His reason to us,

but He has revealed His character to us.

His character assures us that 

He never makes mistakes, is never uncaring,

and that He never separates Himself from our need.

The need you face is great, but the grace

that is yours in Christ is even greater. 

May your heart and your faith stay fixed upon Him

as you go through this difficulty.

Be assured that He is holding your hand 

and will not let you go!

(It's amazing how much comfort a greeting card can give)